Intertwined Bloggery

After a long hiatus I am back and in worse shape than ever. In light of that I have decided to take up the pen so to speak and talk about New Years. i have never been a fan of big, elaborate new years plans or parties, and always find people put too much stock into these plans in trying to make it the best night of the year. After pondering long and hard I have decided what makes this night so special? If you go out, every place jacks up the prices, waters down the alcohol, and pumps loud club music that white people try desperately to find the downbeat to. Now I ask why do people want to take part in such calamities? Maybe they are lonely and are searching for their soulmate, one to be with always. Are they looking to just have a good time with friends? Maybe they are bored? Maybe they like going out? Maybe indeed. In my opinion they are searching for a quick lay to christen the new year with. People gussy themselves up and go out in search of feeding their carnal urges/needs. Everyone is thinking with their peckers again. Oh geez. This does not include pretensious Mennonites (rhymes with hymn), girl-blunderers, people saving themselves for marriage(but they do like to pass the bj mike), and feminists.

My plans for new years are as follows:

1- Try not to get any sicker.
2- Make Kim the soup I promised her earlier this week
3- Watch movies with my meat and hetero-lifemate, and others if want arises
4- Eat junk
5- NOT: watch Dick Clark gay ball drop, drink champagne, no countdowns, no auld lang zie, and definitely no smooching!
5- Fall asleep and wake up in 2006 as disgruntled and cynical as ever!

Political Definitions found from anvari.org. Fuckin hilarious!

Feudalism:
You have two cows.
Your lord takes some of the milk.

Fascism:
You have two cows.
The government takes both, hires you to take
care of them and sells you the milk.

Applied Communism:
You have two cows.
You must take care of them, but the government
takes all the milk.

Totalitarianism:
You have two cows.
The government takes them both and denies they
ever existed.
Milk is banned.

Pure Democracy:
You have two cows.
You and your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

Representative Democracy:
You have two cows.
Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets
the milk.

Mexican Democracy:
You have two cows.
The government takes both and drafts you into the
army.

Great Britain:
You have two cows.
The government shoots one cow because it has mad
cow disease.
The government comes back and shoots the other
one because it has foot and mouth disease.

European Democracy:
You have two cows.
The EU commission decides which regulations for
feeding and milking apply. If there aren’t any,
they invent some.
They pay you not to milk the cows. They take both
cows, shoot one, milk the other and pour the milk
down the drain. They then require you to fill out
forms accounting for the missing cows.

American Democracy:
The government promises to give you two cows,
if you vote for it.
After the election, the president is impeached
for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs
the affair “cowgate,” but supports the president.
The cows sue you for breach of contract. Your
legal bills exceed your annual income. You settle
out of court and declare bankruptcy.

Capitalism:
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

Venture Capitalism:
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly-listed
company, using letters of credit opened by your
brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
debt/equity swap with an associated general offer
so that you get all four cows back, with a tax
exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the
six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a
Cayman Island company secretly owned by the
majority shareholder who sells the rights to all
seven cows back to your listed company. The
annual
report says the company owns eight cows, with
an option on one more. - no Balance Sheet
provided with the release.